2015

Also in January we went to see Paula Poundstone - good show. She does a show where she takes what someone in the audience says and takes off on it - very funny and I'm' sure no two shows are alike. We also saw Lily Tomlin at 7 Feathers. Her show was postponed due to illness. We enjoyed her, but not the venue - all seated in a large conference room at the same level and we were in the next to the last row. Probably won't do that again.

In February we once again made the trek to Charleston for the Crab Feed. We went at 1:00 and if we have gotten there much later we would have been out of luck - they ran out of crab! Busses came in from out of town and with 50+ arriving on each, there went the crab. Ours was good though. After lunch our friend, Louise, took us over to Kohl's Cat House. We had wondered where it was and she knew. We hadn't exactly planned on getting a cat that day, but knew we wanted one. Well, to make a long story short, we now have a cat.

His name was Elvis because he meowed so much. We thought we would call him Rudy because we got him on Valentine's Day. Well, we couldn't remember that so we thought we'd call him Elvis. But then, because he is orange like our other cat, we couldn't remember that and kept calling him Max. So now he is Max.

He got out on us his second day here - knew how to use the cat door and managed to squeeze out through the fence where the gate was. We caught him and when I went to set him down in the house his feet barely touched the carpet as he ran for the cat door again. So, Janet blocked the escape routes in the fence and we eventually caught him again. When he tried to escape he found his exit blocked, came back in and sat by the cat door with a dejected look on his face.

A day or two later we installed the cat door in the window of the guestroom which is now his room. Knowing he can go out has made a difference in his personality. Now he's not so frantic and actually stays in most of the time. He did bring in a garter snake a few weeks ago though so he does go out and he does hunt. Hope he doesn't catch a bird.

The funniest thing is the interaction between Max and the dogs. He just wants to head butt everyone and get his scent on them. Maggie, who was raised with cats, doesn't seem to mind Max. He did something to her early on and they ended up in an embrace that was not a hug but no blood was drawn and things have been peaceful since. Sandy, who we think really hates cats deep down, seems to be afraid of Max. He avoids him and if Max gets on the bed, Sandy gets off. But if Max is outside, Sandy will bark furiously at him through the window or from the safety of the fenced in back yard. It really is quite interesting.

So, this is the year that June turned the big 65. She has been looking forward to that, being on Medicare and officially being able to claim any and all senior discounts. She hosted a two table party bridge group on her birthday, serving a yummy brownie and vanilla ice cream to everyone. When you have your own party you get to choose the desserts. Ho ho.

Janet took her out to dinner at Hilltop and though we would usually go with friends, this year Janet wanted to go alone. As we were getting ready to order dessert these four masked women came into the restaurant to wish June well and announce that dessert was at another location. When we arrived at Linda and Tully's, we found decorations in purple and black and a huge birthday cake with a photo of June on it. Janet, with the help of Tully, had managed to pull of a total surprise of a birthday party. Well done Janet!

August found us with our ORVW group in Bandon. We only live 25 miles from there, but we camped because you do miss out on the fun when you only visit.

Rose, the park owner, gave us a class on glass etching. She failed to mention that wine glasses are one of the more difficult projects, especially for beginners so guess what Janet and I had to work on - yup - wineglasses. We had to wrap them in about three layers on contact paper and then draw the design on the paper. Then you had to figure out where you wanted the etching. Kind of like positive and negative space. So we gamely cut out the parts we wanted etched and hoped for the best. Rose blasted them for us and we saw the finished products in the afternoon. Unfortunately, the stem on Janet's glass broke. She's good with super glue, but not that good.

And then, on September 3rd, disaster struck. Janet had been in rehearsals for a small part in the play "The Full Monty" which was being put on by Little Theater on the Bay. She was on her way to a dress rehearsal when she suddenly started to feel unexplainably weak. Later we would learn this was a symptom of a stroke, but we did not know this then. She went to bed and when I looked in a few hours later, she seemed to be resting comfortably. At around 4:15 a.m. Sandy woke me up to something in the living room. I found Janet on the floor screaming out in pain from a piercing headache and she never got headaches. I called 911 and within a few minutes she was on the way to the hospital.

We later learned she suffered a stroke. She, who had been on blood thinners to prevent a stroke, and who had done everything the doctors suggested to control her atrial fibulation had a stroke anyway. And then she had another one - this one a massive stroke in the right hemisphere which affected her vision as well as some higher level thinking skills and weakened her left side. But we thought she could conquer this and get better and for a few days she did. And then she crashed again, to another stroke I imagine.

Over the next three weeks she would get a little better only to have a setback. We were set to move her to rehab on Friday, September 18th but there was no bed available. So we would have to wait until Monday. That evening, about 7:30, I received a call from the doctor saying Janet had become unresponsive and if I wanted to see her, I'd better get to the hospital. I spent the night and in the morning, when she roused a little, it was obvious she had suffered another stroke. A day or so later she seemed a little better, but rehab was now out of the question. She couldn't spend the required amount of time. She was unable to even sit on the edge of the bed unassisted. So on Monday I called Hospice and started arrangements to enter her into Hospice care so I could bring her home.

Then on Tuesday morning she seemed better again! She was alert, talking clearly, able to squeeze her stuffed moose in her left hand and interested in answering triva questions to exercise her brain. Everything seemed so hopeful once again. She fell asleep around noon and for all intents and purposes, never woke up again. She entered Hospice care and was moved home on Thursday, the 24th. Once in a while she seemed conscious, but I was never able to talk to her to get a response to yes or no questions. She couldn't blink to indicate yes or no or squeeze my hand for a yes. I never knew what she was able to see after the stroke affected her eyesight. Friends helped me care for her and the Hospice nurse came every day. I had asked her to marry me in the hospital and she said yes. Even though I found out how to get the marriage license without Janet appearing, it was too late. She wasn't able to answer "I do" and I lost the love of my life.

On Saturday, September 26th, 2015 at 6:25 p.m. Janet went to be with her niece, Laura and her mother and I hope Buddy was there to greet her to.

Janet had always said she wanted to be cremated and have her ashes spread in Sunset Bay where her mom and niece, Laura were. On October 24th about 23 friends and family came to join me as I took care of one of her last wishes. It was a nice day, but surpisingly windy at Sunset Bay. Folks gathered around 2:00 and I told them all the story of how we met via the Internet when we thought AOL was the Internet. Janet had found my post on one of the AOL boards. I was interested in meeting someone near my own age (Janet was 11 years older), who lived within a 70 mile radius of Watertown, NY (She was in Cambria, CA about 3000 miles away) and who played golf (She didn't, but was willing to learn). She found my post on May 22, 1995 which was the anniversary of my mother's death. She was never able to find that post again, but we started writing and we met for the first time on August 19, 1995 which we came to call our anniversary. I don't know if my mom had a hand in our meeting, but it was a one in a million shot and we were quite happy together for the next 20 years. Janet was my soul mate and I will miss her every day for the rest of my life.

The wind was blowing the flowers that people brought back onto the beach so I picked them up and walked them out into the water and threw them. They are hard to see in this photo, but they are there - a couple of dahlias and a rose.

After spreading the ashes people reconvened at the High Tide Cafe for drinks and something to eat. We also toasted Janet.

Tom, her step-brother, snuck out to the waiter and paid the whole tab for 20+ people. Thank you Tom.

Some family weren't able to come to this ceremony so we will have a party to commemorate Janet's life next spring on April 23rd. This was also one of her requests. As I've gone through her belongings, I have set aside some items to take to this party and make available for people to take as mementos.

You'll have to tune in to the 2016 page to read about that when the time comes.